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“So Vur was throwing a party mostly for Tafel’s birthday. I see,” Lindyss said. She was standing in front of a massive white cake covered in frosting, fruit, and sprinkles. E was sitting next to her, held up by an armor set. “And he’s planning on skipping his coronation and giving Tafel the unified continent as a birthday present. Amazing. Only Vur would give away a continent as a present.” Lindyss sighed and shook her head.
There was a knock on the door, causing E and Lindyss to turn around. The metal door swung open, and cold mist rushed out of the room. Mr. Skelly shivered as he stepped inside, followed by Alice. “Whew,” Mr. Skelly said, tilting his neck to see the top of the cake. “Awfully chilly in here, isn’t it?”
“You’re dead,” Lindyss said with a blank expression. “What chill?”
Mr. Skelly cleared his throat. “I was just trying to make small talk, mistress,” he said before scratching his skull. He glanced at Alice and clacked his teeth before making eye contact with Lindyss.
“Small talk?” Lindyss asked, raising an eyebrow. “That’s a first.”
Mr. Skelly let out a dry laugh as his cheekbones flushed pink. “Well, what I want to say next is a little embarrassing after all,” he said. He took in a deep breath, the air whistling out of his ribcage. His feet clacked against the metal ground as he shifted his weight from foot to foot. “I think I’m in love.”
Alice’s face burned bright red as she lowered her head, her glasses slipping down her nose. She pushed them up with her finger, but she didn’t dare raise her head. Her fingers clenched and unclenched, wrinkling the hem of her dress. She pursed her lips and took a quick peek at Lindyss, but that quick peek turned into a prolonged stare.
“So, as I was saying,” Lindyss said to E with her back to Mr. Skelly and Alice. “When Vur and Tafel wake up, you can bring this out to the center of the plaza. I’ve already ordered my people to calm everyone down and clean up the earlier mess. The scuffle between the phoenixes and dragons are over, so we can finally get things going.”
Mr. Skelly grabbed Alice’s hands and rubbed the back of her palm with his thumb. He coughed, trying to get Lindyss’ attention, but she acted as if she didn’t hear him. He coughed again, louder this time. She ignored him again. Soon, the coughs filling the room could overwhelm a group of pneumonic smokers.
Lindyss sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose before turning around. “What is it?”
“This is Alice,” Mr. Skelly said, waving Alice’s hand for her. “We’re in love.”
Lindyss sighed again, lowering her head while rubbing her temples with her fingers. “Alice,” she said, snapping her head up.
Alice stiffened and took a tiny step back. “Y-yes?”
“Do your eyes work?” Lindyss asked, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Not that well,” Alice said, pursing her lips. She pointed at her glasses which were slipping again. “That’s why I wear glasses.”
“Let me rephrase that,” Lindyss said. She pointed at Mr. Skelly. “What does he look like to you?”
Alice furrowed her brow. “A skeleton. But I don’t mind! I know he’s dead.”
“A pervert,” Lindyss said and groaned. She glared at Mr. Skelly. “Do you know how irresponsible you’re being? Why the hell did you chase after this poor woman’s heart?”
“She fell for me, actually,” Mr. Skelly said, his face flushing. “My charisma transcends life and death. I’m quite dashing if I may say so myself. It’s no surprise giving how suave I am.”
Lindyss punted Mr. Skelly’s head off with a swift kick to the temple. Within a second, a new skull reappeared with a grin. “That’s new,” Lindyss said. She clicked her tongue and whirled around to face Alice, placing her hands on the guild master’s shoulders. “Look. What would your parents think if you went to a cemetery, dug up a corpse, and asked it to marry you?”
“They told me to do my best,” Alice said, staring into Lindyss’ eyes, “in everything: Training, studying, working, pursuing love. And I want to pursue Nate. My parents would want me to give this relationship everything I have.”
“Nate?”
“Did you forget my name, mistress?” Mr. Skelly asked. He clutched his ribcage and made a sound as if he was just punched in the stomach. “My feelings.”
Lindyss kicked Mr. Skelly away, his body slamming into the room’s metal walls. “Stay out of this, you irresponsible rascal,” she said. She pressed her palm against Alice’s forehead. “You’re not under an illusion. And you don’t have a fever. But I’m pretty sure you’re sick in the head. I can ask a holy dragon to cure that for you—I have some connections.”
“I’m not!” Alice said, breaking away from Lindyss’ grip. “I’m perfectly sane! I—”
“I wasn’t aware they updated the definition of sane to include marrying corpses,” E said. Alice glared at him, the rune on her forehead flaring up. E raised both his hands and had his armor set retreat a few steps. “Alright, berserk librarian, I’ll stay out of this. I think I’ll check on Vur and Tafel.”
Alice watched the dwarf leave before facing Lindyss. “Please.”
“Don’t you want children in the future?” Lindyss asked. “A proper family? Someone warm and not bony to cuddle? And what’s going to happen to your bedroom life? I want you to think long and hard about the choice you’re making. Write down all your thoughts and give them to me in a week.” She poked Alice’s forehead, causing tears to drop from the guild master’s watery eyes. “I’m not doing this to be mean. I just can’t let someone ruin their future because they didn’t think ahead.” She sighed when Alice sniffled. “Alright, how about this? You and the immoral skeleton can go on a honeymoon for a month. Do whatever you want, and if you decide you still want to be with him by the end of it, I’ll release my control over him. That’s what both of you want me to do, right?”
“Thank you, mistress,” Mr. Skelly said with a grin. He clapped his arm over Alice’s shoulder. “I told you everything would be fine. And she didn’t even want to sacrifice your soul.”
“…What kind of weird rumors are you spreading about me?”