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“Are you sure this is how you hunt for genies?” Alice walked alongside Mr. Skelly. They were wandering in a forest with their eyes glued to the treetops. A root caught Alice’s foot, and she tripped, falling onto her face. “This … is more annoying than I thought. We’ve been here for hours.”
“I mean, this is how we did it the first time,” Tafel said, helping Alice up along with Mr. Skelly. “We wandered around an area where genies are supposed to be, and we found one eventually.” She looked behind herself. “Isn’t that right, Vur?”
Vur yawned and nodded. He was sitting on a rock with his legs crossed, his palms resting on his knees. His other arms were retracted into his body. Stella had made him promise not to find any genies because they’d fall in love with her and she didn’t want to deal with that again. So, instead, he was trying to figure out a way to enter his own soul without someone forcing him inside.
Tafel nodded at Alice. “See?”
“Well, if this is how you found genies the first time, then where are they now?” Alice asked, furrowing her brow. “I’m sure you two didn’t take hours to find them last time.”
“That’s…,” Tafel said and scratched her head. “That’s a good question. Actually, they were pretty rare when we were looking too. Should we move onto another area?”
“I found one!” Mary’s voice echoed from the wooded area behind Vur. There were a few stomping sounds, and Mary came into view. Instead of her usual gauntlets and greaves, she was wearing simple leather gloves and boots. Tafel had seen that Grimmy was sleeping when he was supposed to be taking care of the annoying trio, and she didn’t want to wake him, so the group had set off to find genies first. In Mary’s gloved hand, there was a genie, who was held by the waist down, his arms folded and resting against Mary’s finger as if he were at a bar.
“Is it rude?” Tafel asked.
“Your face is the definition of rude!” the genie shouted and shook a fist at Tafel. “Don’t you feel any shame for making people look at something so distasteful in public?”
“I guess that answers that,” Tafel said in a low voice. “You should wish for it to be politer. If you wish for anything else, it’ll twist your wish.”
Mary pursed her lips. “But I spent so long finding it.”
“That’s because your eyes are useless, moron,” the genie said and stuck his tongue out at Mary. “Ack! Don’t squeeze me, you giant oaf! Don’t you know harming a genie will bring you great misfortune? You’re dumb now, but if you kill me, you’ll definitely get even dumber!”
“Mary,” Tafel said. “Just wish for it to be politer.”
“No, don’t do that,” Alice said before Mary could open her mouth. “Hand that genie over here. I’m going to use it to make a wish. If it’s a battle of words, I don’t believe a genie can outwit me. I’ll have you know, being a guild master is all about twisting words around.”
Mary looked at Tafel, but the demon shrugged. The empress walked up to Alice and passed her the genie. Alice tapped on Tafel’s shoulder and held her hand out. “Jar, please.”
Tafel raised an eyebrow but reached into a portal and handed a jar filled with jam to Alice. The guild master opened it with one hand and stuffed the genie inside. Then she closed the jar and poked a few holes in the lid using Mr. Skelly’s sword. The genie pounded on the lid while shouting profanities, but Alice gave the jar one good shake, and the genie was covered in jam.
Tafel frowned. “I was going to use that for breakfast eventually.”
“Don’t worry,” Alice said. “It’s put to better use this way.”
“Harming a genie will bring about great misfortune! Great, great misfortune! You dumb, undersized giant! Let me out of here this instant!” The genie’s tiny fists punched the lid to no avail. He was covered in a layer of blue sauce, and only his eyes were untouched.
“But I’m not harming you?” Alice asked, raising an eyebrow. She brought the jar up to her face and smiled at the genie through the glass. “All I did was put you into a place with a lot of food. Where’s the harm?”
The genie froze. He pointed a shaking finger at Alice. “What do you want from me?”
“I always wanted my own rude, little genie trapped in a jar to keep on my desk,” Alice said and beamed. “Thanks for granting my lifelong dream.”
“W-wait,” the genie said. “Wish for a genie trapped in a jar to keep on your desk. I promise I won’t corrupt it.”
Alice blinked. “Why would I do that when I already have one?”
“Isn’t there something else you want?” the genie asked and licked its lips. It swallowed. “I can give you all the riches in the world. I can give you all the women, err, men you want. I can make anyone fall in love with you. I can even make the world explode if you want me to. Do you want to become stronger than a dragon? I can make that happen.”
In response, Alice opened the bag by her waist and placed the jar inside. Then she closed it, cutting off all source of light. Tafel, Mary, and Mr. Skelly stared at her. Alice snorted and placed her hands on her hips. “What?”
“That was mean,” Mary said and nodded twice.
“The genie was rude, but you’re acting like a jerk too,” Tafel said.
Mr. Skelly sighed. He thumped his chest plate with his bony hand and smiled at Alice. “Even if you wish to imprison the whole world, I’ll support you wholeheartedly despite my lack of a heart.”
Tafel and Mary stared at the skeleton with withering gazes.
“What?” Mr. Skelly wiggled his brow. “That’s what it means to unconditionally love someone. When they’re sick, you take care of them. When they’re sad, you cheer them up. When they murder someone, you help hide the body. See?”
Mary and Tafel exchanged glances. Mary pursed her lips. “He has a point,” she said.
“He does not!”
“Oh hush,” Alice said, interrupting Tafel and Mary. “I’m doing this for your sake, you know?”
Tafel pointed at herself. “My sake?”
“Yep,” Alice said. “When the genie calms down enough, I’m going to wish for books on how to turn you into a proper demon lord.”
“Um, can’t you just catch a normal genie that won’t corrupt something as important as that?” Tafel asked.
Alice tapped the side of her bag, causing a string of curses to spew out. “This one’s just a backup plan. We might not have to use it.”
“Oh,” Tafel said. “If that’s the case, then I guess it’s okay. I really thought you were going to keep it on your desk forever.”
“Who said I wasn’t?” Alice asked, raising an eyebrow. “I wasn’t lying when I said I wanted a rude genie to keep on my desk. If we find a polite genie, I’m going to keep this one. Sometimes, there are just people who you want to tell off, and I’m sure this little guy will give me plenty of inspiration.”
Alice you monster xD
Grats on 100 for book 3