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These people haven’t attacked me yet. Why not? Don’t they want to rob me? Don’t they want my stuff? Hmm, where’s Mrs. Feathers? If she were here, I could claim some protection fees from them. Actually, this person….
“E-excuse me?”
Hmm. Her bones seem sturdy enough. Her flesh is very stiff too. If I had to take a guess, she’s as strong as Mrs. Feathers! If she’s as strong as Mrs. Feathers, how am I going to demand protection fees from her?
“Release Senior Sister Qin at once!”
Ah? Why’s this guy so angry? I’m not hurting their friend or anything. I’m just feeling her up! Mm? That sounded weird. I’m just touching her muscles to gauge her strength! Eh…, that’s a little better. “Alright.” Other than this lady, that guy is another strong-smelling person. Huh? When did I learn to tell someone’s strength by their smell? Well, strong things tend to taste more delicious, and delicious things usually smell good! This person smells really, really good. …I’m not going to eat him!
“R-release me at once!”
He smells as delicious as Mrs. Feathers does. I bet his shoulder would be really juicy to bite into…. Ah! No. He’s not a monkey. Probably? “Hey. Are you a monkey?”
“What?” The man stopped struggling and stared at me. “Do I look like a monkey?”
“Senior Brother, under a certain lighting and angle, you do look like a monkey at times.”
“Personally, I think Senior Brother looks more like a gorilla than a monkey.”
“Is there a difference between the two?”
“Gorillas don’t have tails just like Senior Brother.”
“Enough!” The man squirmed, but I didn’t let him go. “Unhand me! You lowly backwater native, who do you think you’re touching?”
Lowly backwater native? I’ve heard that before! Hmm…. I think it’s supposed to be an insult, but I’m not quite sure. “Ilya, is he insulting me?” Ah, I forgot. Ilya isn’t here right now.
“Yes.” Ilya’s voice came out of my messenger! How did she hear me? “Kill him.”
Ilya wants me to what now? I don’t kill people! Mm, but it’s okay to beat someone up if they insult you. I’ll just grab him by his arm and … slam him into the ground like this. “I’ll teach you to call me a native!”
“No, Lucia, the native part isn’t the insult. It’s the lowly backwater part.”
Eh? Ooh. I knew that. I’ll have to do it again. Lift … and slam! “I’ll teach you to call me a lowly backwater!”
Ilya’s voice came out of my messenger again. “Close enough.”
“Senior Brother!”
“Senior Sister Qin, you have to avenge him!”
“Avenge him?” The lady from before took a small step towards me and bowed her head. “Senior, I beseech you, please, let us off easy. My martial brother wasn’t raised properly, and sometimes he doesn’t think before he speaks. It’s understandable you’d want to teach him a small lesson in manners.”
…Why are these people so polite? It almost makes me feel bad for wanting to take their stuff. “Okay, okay, how about this? You guys give me all your stuff, and I’ll let you go free? Deal?”
“Stuff?” The lady asked. “What do you mean by stuff?”
“You know, stuff.” How does she not know what stuff is? Everyone knows what stuff is! “Like everything, underwear too.” I always have to specify underwear is part of stuff. No one understands it for some reason, hah.
The lady’s face cramped. “That’s a bit—”
“Lucia, you can’t let them go.” Ilya’s voice came out of my messenger again. I swear, she’s spying on me. How is she doing it!? Does she spy on me when I’m in my bedroom too…? “You have to capture, cripple, or kill them. If you let them go, they’ll cause trouble throughout the Immortal Continent.”
“We’ll give you all our stuff,” the lady said, her tune suddenly changing for some reason. “As long as you guarantee our freedom, we’ll give you our items and immediately leave.”
“Senior Sister Qin, you can’t be serious!”
“If we split up all at once, I don’t believe she can catch us all.”
“Everyone, shut up!” The lady waved her hand, and all the people behind her fell onto their knees. She stared me in the eyes and pursed her lips. “Well?”
Mm, what do I do? “You have to pay taxes, that’s for sure.” But should I let them go? If I let them go, according to Ilya, there’ll be a lot of trouble throughout the Immortal Continent! Usually, that wouldn’t bother me, but I’m going to put up a bunch of requests for people to travel all over the continent to collect foodstuffs, and if they run into trouble, then that’s basically troubling me! It’s decided then. For the sake of the food, err, Immortal Continent, I can’t let these people escape. “No deal! I have—”
“Scatter!”
“—to catch….” Wow. They all fled in different directions and left this senior brother of theirs behind! How heartless! Do I chase?
“Don’t chase.”
Okay. I won’t chase. “Wait! Ilya! Did you do something to my mind!? How do you know what I’m saying and thinking when you’re not even here!?”
“I haven’t touched your mind, don’t worry,” Ilya said. “Tie that person up and toss him into that trashcan over there. Also, there’s a group of people searching that large building to your left. You can go intercept them. Even if you can’t rob them all, as long as you can get them to scatter, I can do the rest with my formations.”
It feels like Ilya’s been ordering me around a lot. I can’t remember the things she’s made me do, but I’m sure there were lots of things. Mm? I order Ilya around a lot, and it’s only fair she does the same to me? …Nope. I can’t remember the last time I made her do something. If I can’t remember, then clearly it doesn’t happen often. Mhm. Anyways, it’s time to dump this person into the trash, but not before I strip him first!