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This stupid cooking pot! It’s not listening to me! “Hey, Mister, is it mine yet?”
“My will hasn’t been overwritten yet,” the man dressed like a hunter said. He was staring at me while slowly munching on a piece of meat. “Are you sure you’re almost an immortal?”
“Give me some hints, damnit!” Do I smash it? I didn’t want to smash it because that’d damage my future tool, but it’s looking like I’ll have too. This person already refused to give me hints dozens of times now, and I don’t want to hurt him before I can take this tool off of him. He knows I want it. What if he tells it to go really far away and hide from me? It can do that!
“If you can’t subdue it by yourself, you aren’t worthy of having it,” the man said. I really wanted to give his smug face a good thwack with my hammer. I’m going to pull it out. Mm. The room collapsed. “What the hell? That hammer is huge, woman.”
Alright, let’s give the pot a good ol’ whack. This man said there was his remnant will inside of it, right? I already know a remnant will is basically like a ghost, and I have the perfect ghost-slaying technique. “Flaming Hammer!”
Hmm? This pot is surprisingly sturdy! I’ll hit it again! “Flaming Hammer!” Still no reaction? “Flaming Hammer!” How about that? Nothing? “Flaming Hammer!” Whew, this remnant will is awfully tough to deal with. “Flaming Hammer!” Could it be…? I knew it! Whatever was inside is cooking faster! All I’m doing is speeding up the cooking process!
“If you want to flatten my immortal tool, you’ll have to use an immortal-ranked weapon,” the man said. He was still sitting there, stuffing his face with meat! “Your hammer might be the best of the best in this lower dimension, but it’s just average when compared to the weapons in the immortal realm.”
Where am I going to get an immortal-ranked hammer? If I can’t solve this problem with violence, then…. “Ilya! Help! What do I do?” She should know the way. She knows everything.
“I believe in you, Lucia.” Ilya’s voice came out of my messenger. “You’ll figure it out. You’re smart.”
…Huh? Has Ilya ever told me she believed in me before? She always just gives me the answer instead of letting me figure it out on my own…. “Ilya?”
“What is it?”
“Are you feeling sick? Do you have to go see the heavenly doctor?” There’s definitely something wrong with Ilya! Even if she’s trying to avoid my question because she doesn’t know the answer, she’ll try to distract me with an acorn instead! She never tells me she believes in me! “It’s okay if you have to go back and get a checkup. You can leave everything here to me!” Right, I might not have any idea what Ilya’s trying to do here, but I can definitely figure it out if she leaves Mrs. Feathers some detailed instructions!
“I feel perfectly fine, thanks for asking.” There was a short pause. “A group of invaders are coming to your location. The destruction of the building and your hammer strikes caused too large of a commotion. When they arrive, tax them, tie them up, and throw them into that inn to your left.”
Mm? People are coming? I still haven’t figured this cooking pot out yet! “You’re really not going to give me any hints? The faster you give me this cooking pot, the faster you’ll see Baldie!”
The man frowned. “I’ve been meaning to ask for a while now….” He cleared his throat. “Why do you call Fairy Lin Baldie?”
Huh? What kind of question is that? “Why do you call Baldie Fairy Lin?”
“Her family name is Lin, and she’s as beautiful as a fairy,” the man said. “Fairy is a common term of address for women who’ve reached immortality. It’s your turn to explain.”
“Well, Baldie is bald, so why shouldn’t I call her Baldie?” I don’t think I’ve ever seen a fairy before. Are they bald? I’ll have to ask Ilya, but even though she says she’s perfectly fine, she isn’t, so I won’t bother her with trivial stuff like this. Mhm. I can be considerate too! Who said I wasn’t!? “Hey, Ilya, I’m considerate, aren’t I?”
“…Sure.”
See?
“Is that … Immortal Kuang?”
“The Insane Hunter? How did he get down here? Weren’t our sect elders blocking off the entrance?”
“It looks like he’s injured. He’s recovering his spiritual energy by eating meat. If that’s the case, should we…?”
Mm? This guy is an insane hunter? He doesn’t look very insane. He hasn’t acted insane either! If they slander him and call him insane, what would people think about me? I’d be trading with an insane person, and that make me insane too! “Who are you calling insane!?”
“That’s the beastkin who was guarding the gate! Were the two fighting?”
“Immortal Kuang is a hunter. He shouldn’t get along with beasts.”
“But it looks like the two of them are sharing a meal….”
The man dressed in furs cleared his throat. Everyone else instantly fell silent. “I’m only here for Fairy Lin. If any of you find her, let me know. As for Bloodmoon, I’m not interested in dealing with him or taking his items.”
“Since that’s the case, please excuse us, Senior Kuang.” The people in the sky cupped their hands, and it looked like they were about to leave!
How could I let them leave that easily? Even if Ilya didn’t give me any instructions, I wouldn’t let them go. “Hey! You haven’t paid your taxes yet!”
The people in the sky exchanged glances with each other. “Whatever do you mean, Senior?”
“This is my territory, and all of you are wandering around like you own the place! Haven’t you heard of protection fees before? There’s also entrance fees for using my door to come here. Since I own this place, I also own the qi and the air, and you’ve been taking those too, haven’t you? So, pay up!” Ah! Isn’t this a chance? “I won’t collect taxes from anyone who knows how to subdue an immortal tool, so if you know how, then speak up!”
“And if we refuse, Senior? Do you know who we—”
Pow!
Mm. Direct hit! Ah? How’d I hit him when he was in the sky and I can’t teleport up there instantly? Simple! I threw a rock at him.