Previous | Table of Contents | Next
“I’m home.”
Sophia’s back! “Welcome home, Sophia!” I teleported right to the doorway and scooped her up and hugged her! “I missed you so much. How was school? Did anyone bully you? Did you make any friends? Did anyone bully you? What did you eat for lunch? Did they starve you again?”
“Mommy, you’re squishing me….”
No, I’m not! I’m wearing this bracelet that reduces my strength! Ilya made it for me. See? It’s right…, huh, would you look at that: it’s not there. Where’d it go? Did I drop it while I was catching those failing animals? Hmm….
“Mommy….”
Oops. “Sorry, my bad. You’re okay, right?” Yep. She’s perfectly fine, just a little squished-looking. “Here, I have some soup for you!” Right, with the addition of all those immortal animals, the soup has become so much better. I could feel myself getting stronger when I ate it. I bet Sophia will love it. She loves everything I make for her. “Softie, Sophia’s home! Let’s eat!”
Alright, the table’s nice and set. The wok is on the ground, ready to be scooped from at any time. Sophia and Softie are in their seats. Durandal’s still hiding in his sword as always. Puppers is outside of my socks; he’s the one that set the table for us. Everything’s perfect! “Alright. How was school, Sophia? Did you learn anything new?”
“School was fun,” Sophia said. She bobbed her head up and down. Ah, she’s so adorable, just like me. I want to squeeze her. She stuck out her hands and raised her fingers. “Today, I beat up seven whole classes. The teacher said I did a good job.”
“Beat up classes? What are they teaching you?” Softie asked. Was she frowning? Did my soup not taste good? Ah! It hadn’t even been served yet! No wonder why she’s upset.
“Puppers! Soup! What are you waiting for!?” There we go. Softie should be less grumpy now. Mm. What is Sophia learning anyway? Ilya said they taught valuable life skills that everyone should have, but I haven’t heard of so many of them! I guess they’re not that valuable then, mhm.
“We learned self-defense today,” Sophia said and raised her hands up as if she were hugging the world. “I was the bully.”
Softie’s frown deepened. She hadn’t eaten the soup yet, that’s why. “The bully? What do you mean bully?”
Sophia blinked twice. “The teacher told me and Ri to beat people up. Everyone else had to do their best to run away.” Ah? Was that a smug smile? No, no, that’s a praise-me-Mommy smile. “No one escaped!”
“Good job!” Self-defense, eh? Who needs that? The only defense anyone needs is offense!
“That’s … great, Sophia,” Softie said. Her expression was a bit off. Hmm…. Did she get a bony part of an animal? No, Puppers knows how to scoop the best parts of the stew. “Remember, you shouldn’t beat people up. People don’t like being beaten, and they’ll dislike you if you keep doing it.”
Sophia snorted. “I don’t care. It’s fun beating people! I like the faces they make. They make me feel warm and fuzzy.”
That’s my daughter! Eh? That’s not normal? Hmph. As if the daughter of the strongest person in the world could be normal. Everything about her is special, even her attitude. “I agree! But, sometimes, there’s some people who you want to like you. You can’t beat them up. At least, not until you learn how to dive into their souls and erase parts of their memories.” Mm, I can already do that. When she’s strong enough, I’m going to teach Sophia how to Soul Scour people! Ah, if only she was old enough to cultivate. Speaking of which…. “When can you start cultivating, Sophia?”
“When I’m six! Auntie Ilya said that’s the best time to start.”
Ooh, six, eh? “Wow, that’s only one to three years from now. I can’t wait!”
Sophia tilted her head. “Mommy, I told you I was five.”
“Yeah, one to three years, see?” Hmph. Sophia’s too smart, and I can’t show her how dumb I am! Which I’m not, okay? I’m very smart, but Sophia’s just way smarter, so it only looks like I’m dumb when I’m actually not. Anyways, that’s why I answer questions with multiple answers, so I have a higher chance of being right, and it works.
“But, Mommy, my birthday is in four days.”
Four days!? “Holy crap! That’s super soon! Do you know what technique you want to learn?” There are so many techniques, but all the good ones can only be cultivated by men for some reason! Like the one where you can cut people’s heads off and take their qi. Only men can learn that one. Oh, oh, oh, and that one where you can slaughter innocent people and absorb their souls, only men can learn that too. It’s not fair. But that’s okay, there are some other techniques that only women can learn like the icy ones! …Which I can’t learn despite being a woman. Ah. If only I knew learning techniques would affect my future growth back then, I wouldn’t have learned them all willy-nilly. …Okay, I probably still would’ve, but still!
Sophia put down her spoon and swallowed. “Yes, Mommy, I already know.”
Ah, my daughter’s the best. She knows I think a lot, and doesn’t answer my questions until I’m done thinking. Ilya and Softie don’t do that. They ask, then they have to ask again because I didn’t hear them the first time! “What technique are you learning? Are you going to be like me and learn the Heart Devil Cultivation Technique? The Secret Phoenix Rebirth Technique?” Mm, even if she doesn’t learn those techniques, I can still teach her all-purpose ones like Breaking Blade!
“I’m going to cultivate the Divine Drea—Dreadful Beast Cultivation Technique.”
“Divine Dreadful Beast Cultivation Technique?” Softie asked. She still hadn’t touched the soup. “How come I never heard of that?”
Sophia waved her hand and picked up her spoon. “Oh, Auntie Ilya showed it to me.” Then, she stuffed her face before we could ask any more questions. Odd. Was she lying? Hmm…. Nah. Sophia always tells the truth. She’s basically an angel! I’ll fight anyone who calls her a liar.
Second large paragraph from the top.
…*drop it while I was catching those failing animals? Hmm….*
*failing* should be *falling*. I do believe. Thanks for the chapter!
I hope Sophia isn’t taken over by some soul revenant or whatever. Though I guess it wouldn’t make too much difference for the world. The little terror will probably be worse for the world than any soul revenant lol. She’ll be funnier too.