Volume 4 Chapter 7 – Training (4)

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Mommy wasn’t happy about being stuffed in a pillowcase. I told her I could feel qi, and all of her anger went away; I knew it would work. My mommies are very easy to read. When I know what someone is going to do before it even happens, it’s called reading someone—that’s what Auntie Ilya told me. She was very surprised I was good at reading people since my mommies were terrible at it. Auntie Ilya tells me there’s a lot of things I’m better at than my mommies, but those things aren’t the things that matter. Um? Is there something I’m better at than Auntie Ilya? Of course! I can eat more than her. Auntie Ilya says that doesn’t count as being better, but I know she’s a bad loser.

Anyway, after I set Mommy free, I trained for two more hours and Mrs. Feathers took me to school. She always drops me off at the library because walking is good for my health, but I know she’s too lazy to fly me to class. If I don’t go to class, I bet Mommy would punish her, but I won’t do that because I like Mrs. Feathers. Also, if I don’t go to class, I can’t play with Ri. Oh! It’s Teacher Lin. Was she inside the library the whole time? I thought people weren’t allowed inside when it was closed.

“It’s you again?”

Mrs. Feathers knew Teacher Lin? She doesn’t know most of the people I talk about because she doesn’t care about them. Is Teacher Lin really that special?

“Aren’t you that dung-for-brains monk who came in here last time?”

Maybe Teacher Lin isn’t that special.

“I brought you a bribe this time, but you weren’t here,” Teacher Lin said and handed over a large sack. It was lumpy; it looked a lot like the sack of potatoes my mommy carries around in her interspacial ring. Then, Teacher Lin looked at me. “Good morning, Junior Fluffytail.”

Before I could respond, Mrs. Feathers grew a little bigger than me and stepped in front of me. “You know this person, Sophia? From now on, you should stay away from her; her brain is even smoother than your mother’s.”

What’s wrong with a smooth brain?

“Excuse me,” Teacher Lin said. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t undermine my authority in front of my own students.”

Mrs. Feathers squawked and flapped her wings. She turned to look at me. “She’s the one who taught you your foundation technique?”

“Mhm.”

Mrs. Feathers eyes narrowed, and she whirled around, growing even bigger. She was even taller than Teacher Lin. “You moron! How are you qualified to become a teacher, telling a beast she can do whatever she wants with her tail!? Fuck! When you cultivate, do you do whatever you want with your head? Do you let it dangle about because it feels comfortable? If it weren’t for that collar, I would peck you to death right now!”

“Mrs. Feathers, don’t curse in front of me or my mommy will get mad.”

“It’s okay,” Mrs. Feathers said and shrank. “Just don’t tell her. I’m getting mad for your sake; you don’t want me to get punished because I was helping you, right?”

“What do you mean if it weren’t for my collar?” Teacher Lin asked. She didn’t say anything about teaching me incorrectly. I think she knew she was wrong, but she didn’t want to admit it. It’s a little like when I sneak a bit of food from the kitchen when it’s not cooked yet and my mommy finds out and asks who did it, but I hide in the corner instead of saying anything. Mommy always knows it’s me though. I think it’s because I’m the only one who’s allowed in the kitchen when she cooks. Sometimes…! Hmph. Sometimes…! Grr. Sometimes, Mommy will eat a piece of food before it’s cooked, and then she’ll blame it on me when she notices it’s gone! Just thinking about it makes me so mad.

Mrs. Feathers snorted. “You know. Living with that collar is probably worse than death to you, and I want you to suffer more, so I won’t peck you to death.”

Teacher Lin’s eyes narrowed. Was she upset? A second later, her expression turned back to normal. “I’ve come from the immortal realm. Before this collar was placed on me, I could kill thousands of you with a single wave of my finger.”

Mrs. Feathers snorted again. “And right now, I can peck you to death. You want to try me? I’ll peck you right now.”

“What? Ow! Stop! You demented beast, stop this instant!”

Mrs. Feathers’ pecks must really hurt. Her beak can bite through bones. I wish my teeth were as strong as her beak, then I wouldn’t have to be so careful while eating. Instead of eating the meat around the bone, I could eat the meat with the bone!

“See if I care if you were once an immortal!” Mrs. Feathers chased Teacher Lin around the library. It wasn’t very fair because Teacher Lin’s legs were shorter. “My great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather was an immortal too!”

I think Teacher Lin is going to be late for class, but I don’t want to be late for class too. I can’t wait to tell Ri about my qi! “Mrs. Feathers, I’m going to class first! You too, Teacher Lin.”

“Stop calling her Teacher Lin,” Mrs. Feathers said, but her voice was really low. The two of them ran very deep into the library. “She’s just a con artist who tricked her way into becoming a teacher! You don’t believe she actually came from the immortal realm, right?”

Um? “But she it. I saw it myself. She came out of the door in the sky along with a bald man.”

The sounds of chasing stopped. “Hang on,” Mrs. Feathers said. Her voice was a bit muffled. A short while later, she appeared in front of me with Teacher Lin clamped in her beak. “You’re saying she’s actually an immortal?”

“Mhm.”

“Quick, flip the sign on the library from open to closed so no one comes in, and head to class when you’re done. Teacher Lin and I have some things to talk about.”


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