VI Chapter 39 – The Birds and the Bees

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A woman sat on top of a tree. Her skin was green, and thin branches grew from the top of her head, drooping towards the ground like hair. Vines draped down from her shoulders and back—if she were standing, they’d barely reach her ankles. A few leaves grew from the green vines; they were flat and large, perfect for soaking in the sunlight. As for clothes, she wasn’t wearing any, but a few large leaves did wrap around her body, making her look much like a cabbage.

The dryad groaned as she leaned forward and pushed her legs back, stretching out along the branch like a sloth. The vines on her shoulders and back spread out until they found nearby branches, wrapping around and resting on them. With this position, the dryad maximized the amount of sunlight shining on her, and her eyes closed shut as she sighed. A few minutes passed, and soft snores rang out of her mouth. More time passed. Her vines shifted to follow the sun. An hour went by. The dryad’s nose twitched; it seemed like she was having a good dream. Her head leaned over one side of the branch, and her nose took in a deep sniff.

The dryad’s eyes shot open, and her vines retracted from the nearby branches. That aroma wasn’t coming from her dream! The smell made her uncomfortable. It was like an incendiary entering her body from above, causing a fire to blaze in her lower belly. Her first thought was the demons were invading and had resorted to poison. She grabbed one of the cabbagelike leaves near her chest and tugged it upwards, using it to cover her nose and mouth. With practiced movements, she slid down the tree, her body flowing like water between the branches. She had to quickly return and warn her companions about the attack. She gathered up the vines hanging off her back, holding them in front of herself to prevent them from tripping her as she ran. When she had just taken three steps, a greenish figure appeared in the corner of her eye. She pulled the leaf covering her mouth down and shouted, “Quickly! You have to….”

The dryad’s feet stopped as another wave of the strong aroma assaulted her nostrils despite her best attempts at not breathing in. However, the dryad didn’t bother covering her nose; instead, she pointed at the figure. “You are … a dryad?”

The figure came closer. Instead of vines on its back, it had a pair of wings. They were green with streaks of black, or perhaps they were black with streaks of green, but seeing as the person was a dryad, it was most likely the former. The female dryad gulped and lowered the leaf back down to her chest. The sweet aroma wasn’t caused by a poison; her mother had told her about a situation like this once long ago when she had asked how she was born. “You are a male?”

The figure came even closer, enough for the female dryad to see the orange thorns growing out of the figure’s leaves. The harsher the environment a dryad grew up in, the harsher their adaptations became. As someone who had never left the comfort of her forest, the female dryad grew long and lush vines, beautiful and harmless. She swallowed upon seeing the jagged edges of the figure’s leaves. They were like the teeth of a tiger, pointed, sharp. The man was dangerous, but whether it was the alluring scent messing with her head or some other reason, the female dryad couldn’t help but feel curious about him. What kind of life had he lived to grow such harsh adaptations?

The female dryad blushed and dropped the vines she was holding, letting them fall back into place. She combed her arms through them a few times, getting rid of the tangles, and flashed a smile at the man. “Hello,” she said, performing a tiny curtsy with the leaves hanging down from her waist. “My name is Tanaeci.”

The male dryad didn’t say anything, walking closer instead. Tanaeci swallowed and exhaled as he approached. Perhaps he didn’t understand her? The harsh environment he had grown up in, perhaps it was the territory of the humans and demons? She tried communicating again, this time, with the language of the humans. “Hello. I’m Tanaeci. You are?”

The male dryad came close enough to touch, and Tanaeci’s face turned even redder. “U-um, you,” she said, but before she could get another word out, the male dryad placed a finger vertically on her mouth, pressing down on her lips while making a shushing sound. Tanaeci gulped as she inhaled the scent coming off the stranger’s finger. It was making her dizzy, reminding her of that time she had inhaled the gases from her mother’s jar of happiness. She didn’t know what was in the jar, but when her mother found out she had used it, Tanaeci had been grounded, literally, for a month. She thought she was going to starve to death; the sunlight barely reached the forest floor. There must’ve been something similar to this male dryad’s finger inside the jar because Tanaeci found that she could barely think.

The male dryad’s finger curled and brushed against her upper lip as it moved towards her cheek. A burning sensation covered her skin as a hand caressed her face, moving from her cheek to her ear and down to her neck. Tanaeci swallowed. In the hundred years she had been alive, she had never seen a male dryad, but she had always fantasized about meeting one. Now she had. Who knew that reality … was even more exciting than her wildest imaginations? She stretched her hands out, grabbing the male dryad’s arm as it was about to leave her neck. She leaned forward, pressing her burning hot cheeks against the male’s face. “Follow me,” she said in a low voice, practically whispering into the male’s ear. “I know somewhere we can go where no one will disturb us.”

***

Yeoman lay on his back, staring up at the sky. He had no idea what the hell had just happened. The last thing he truly remembered was listening to the skeletons giving him all kinds of advice, most of them nonsensical. When he felt like he was ready to embark on his mission, one of the skeletons came up with a brilliant idea. Of course, to Yeoman, the idea wasn’t brilliant at all. It was downright terrifying. Long story short, Yeoman tried to resist, but in the end, he was possessed by the ghost of a philandering noble. After all, how could he resist? Mr. Skelly completely approved of the plan. The ghost was inserted into Yeoman, and then everything became a blur. Now, he was here, lying on top of a particularly large tree with a female dryad clinging to his naked body, asleep.

The skeletons had said the possession wouldn’t last too long, and they were reliably right, for once. Now that Yeoman had full control of his body, the memories of what had happened were slowly coming back to him. Every action the ghost had taken using his body was perfectly relayed into his mind: the soft feeling of the dryad’s skin, the little whimpers she had let out when her cabbagelike leaves were peeled open, the intense surge of pleasure he had experienced upon release. Yeoman’s brow furrowed. All his life, he had been a virgin. Was he still a virgin? Did sexual encounters during an alien abduction count? A sigh escaped from Yeoman’s lips. Back on Earth, everyone practically worshipped sex, and now that he had experienced it for himself, he couldn’t help but think it was overrated. Perhaps it was because he was a zombie and couldn’t feel physical pleasures that well. Or perhaps it was because he was possessed by a ghost while doing it.

Yeoman groaned. More importantly, there were other things he had to worry about—like responsibility. Would this world continue even after he had left? A few years from now, would there be a little dryad child wondering where her father went? Confusion and anxiety filled Yeoman’s stomach; it felt like someone was gripping his heart. This was all for the sake of obtaining the water from the Fountain of Youth. The plan had been fine on paper: seduce a dryad, obtain her soul water, trade it in. However, now that he had actually tried to implement the plan, he realized it wasn’t as fine as it first seemed. How was this any better than killing goblins? He practically ruined this dryad’s future, and for what? A few points? Well, it wasn’t just a few points, but still, it was a despicable plan. What would his party members think if they found out? Cody would … probably give him a thumbs up. Ella would probably cackle. Yeoman shook his head; those two weren’t good moral compasses to follow.

The female dryad lying on top of Yeoman let out a groan and opened her eyes. They brightened up after seeing his face, and the dryad’s nostrils widened as she took in a deep sniff. “It wasn’t just a dream,” she said after exhaling. Her brow furrowed. “I remember my mother telling me something about male dryads.”

Luckily for Yeoman, Tanaeci was speaking English. “Erm—”

“No,” Tanaeci said, placing her finger on his lips, much like how he had done to her earlier. “Let me think.” She sat up. “Close your eyes; I can’t concentrate when you’re looking at me.”

Yeoman closed his human eyes but kept his crow eyes open. It wasn’t like the dryad knew they were eyeballs. To her, they were probably some fancy ornaments. Tanaeci’s brow was furrowed, and she was pinching her nose shut. Evidently, the smell from the fairy’s curse had a strong effect on her. After a minute of thinking, Tanaeci nodded. “I remember now!” Dozens of vines on her back moved and draped themselves over Yeoman, wrapping his limbs and torso. “Mother said to bring male dryads back for everyone to enjoy.”

Yeoman was dumbfounded. Obviously, enjoy in this context meant intercourse. Yeoman felt like he could easily break out of the vines, but he wasn’t sure if that would hurt Tanaeci. They were a part of her body, and if he tore them to get free, wouldn’t that be grievously injuring her? After what had already happened, if he were to injure her too, would he even be able to live with himself? Besides, if he were to run away, what would happen to Tanaeci? How would he take responsibility for his actions? Thus, Yeoman didn’t struggle even if he’d have to endure the terrible, tragic fate of being enjoyed by all the dryads—oh, the horror.

Tanaeci slid down from the tree, and Yeoman was surprised at how easily he was brought to the ground. He weighed enough to cause a car to sink when he got in, but Tanaeci had acted as if he didn’t exist, her vines carrying him as if he were a bag of feathers. Out of curiosity, Yeoman moved his arm, tugging against the vine, using as little strength as possible to prevent himself from injuring the dryad; however, he found that he could only move his arm an inch. He put in a little more strength, then a little more. Soon, he was struggling as hard as possible, but nothing happened to the vines. He was trapped. Hadn’t Mr. Skelly said any B-ranked adventurer could defeat a dryad? What was this then? Yeoman’s brow furrowed. Mr. Skelly had also said the thornier dryads could tear him to shreds. Was Tanaeci one of them?

“Why are you struggling so much?” Tanaeci asked, turning her head to look at Yeoman. Her eyes lit up. “Oh. Your clothes. I almost forgot. As a dryad, you shouldn’t really wear clothes, but you seem to have been stripped of your covering leaves. The demons cut them away from you, didn’t they?” She sighed. “You poor thing. Don’t worry; it’ll all be over soon.”

Covering leaves. Apparently, that’s what the dryads called the cabbagelike leaves they used to cover their bodies, hence the name. Yeoman didn’t respond as Tanaeci wrapped a vine around the clothes on the ground, bringing it close to Yeoman. She didn’t seem to have any plans of dressing him, humming as she strolled forward while carrying Yeoman above her head with her vines. Since Yeoman couldn’t resist, he let the dryad do as she liked. He’d use this time to think and gather his thoughts.

First of all, what was done was done. He had slept with a dryad. He had no idea if anything would come about because of it. He was a zombie, so he wasn’t even sure if he was fertile anymore, and also, he had no idea if humans could even have children with dryads in the first place. Besides those two details, there was also the fact pregnancy didn’t happen that easily. Yeoman wasn’t sure how he felt. Did he want Tanaeci to have his child or not? If she did have it, then he’d be able to accomplish the mission he was given. If she didn’t, he wouldn’t have to worry about leaving a child fatherless. Other than the issue of a child and his mission, there was also the issue of STDs. Actually, he’d probably be cured by the aliens once the stage was over, but what if he infected Tanaeci with the fungus? It was a fungus targeted at humans, but what if? Yeoman sighed. At this point, he was just trying to find things to be worried about. Rather than worrying, he should take some concrete steps at solving his problems. “Tanaeci.”

The dryad flipped Yeoman over with her vines to look into his eyes. “Yes?”

“If a male dryad is shared between all the female dryads, how does he take care of all the kids?”

“Take care of the kids?” Tanaeci asked. “What are kids?”

Yeoman was stunned. Did the philandering ghost who had possessed him take advantage of an innocent, naïve girl? “What we did just now….”

“Oh!” Tanaeci nodded. “You must mean the sapling. You’re in dryad territory now; you should really stop using human terms.” She was staring at Yeoman, but her feet kept moving. There were a few vines snaking out of her knees, brushing the ground in front of her to make sure she didn’t stumble into anything, acting much like a blind man’s cane. “But what do you mean how? Why would a male dryad take care of the sapling?”

Yeoman blinked. Was it really that convenient? He didn’t have to take any responsibility? “Doesn’t a dryad child need a father to help him or her grow up?”

Tanaeci’s brow furrowed. “Why do you keep calling them children? Did you never learn about sex?” She stared at the ground and muttered to herself, “Don’t tell me I just took advantage of an innocent, naïve boy. No! That can’t be. He was so practiced with his movements….”

Yeoman cleared his throat. The skeletons had repeatedly called him stupid, and he was quite sure that he wasn’t stupid, but at the moment, he felt pretty stupid. “Can you explain to me what happens after sex?”

Tanaeci’s face turned red, and she answered without making eye contact. “My flower will swell and turn into a fruit. When it’s ripe, it’ll drop down, and I’ll find a place to plant it. Afterwards, I’ll nourish it with my soul water until it grows into a tree. Thirty to forty years later, the tree will turn into a dryad like you and me.”

Yeoman blinked. It seemed like there really weren’t any children. Dryads were born as trees and emerged as adults. “Who watches over the trees as they grow?”

“The community, of course,” Tanaeci said and rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry. Our child will grow strong and healthy; I’m a high dryad, after all. You can enjoy the embrace of the earth in peace.”

Huh? “Why does it sound like I die?” There must’ve been a miscommunication due to English not being Tanaeci’s native language, right?

Tanaeci stared at Yeoman. “Once a male dryad emits his pollen, he only has six months left to live. That’s why mother told me to capture you for everyone to share. It’d be a waste if you could only pollinate one dryad before your death. You didn’t know that?”

Yeoman said a silent prayer in his heart—despite his lack of religious beliefs—for all the male dryads living in this world. They were unfortunate souls, much like male bees and male praying mantises. However, wasn’t this too awfully convenient? He didn’t have to worry about taking responsibility, and the dryads were expecting him to disappear, err, die in six months. Yeoman exhaled. After suffering through two stages of alien abductions, it seemed like he had finally caught a break.


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