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One fateful day, Yeoman lay on the ground, staring up at the sky. The first hints of sunlight were creeping into his shelter, barely illuminating the grass by his feet. It was the start of a new day, which didn’t mean much considering all his days had pretty much been the same for the past few months. Yeoman exhaled and took in a deep breath, gathering up his energy to endure what would be another exhausting day. His crow ears were angled towards the entrance to the shelter; however, the footsteps that should’ve been approaching were missing. Did something happen? Were the dryads under attack?
Step, step.
Yeoman relaxed, closing his eyes. Never mind. It must’ve been a trick of the passing time. The sunrises would gradually get earlier, but the dryads would wake at the same time.
“Congratulations! You’re a free dryad!”
Yeoman’s eyes opened as he sat up. Tanaeci was standing over him with a smile plastered on her face. “The only dryad who isn’t fruiting is Pleono, but that’s because she doesn’t want to.” The dryad grabbed the restraints on Yeoman’s wrist, and they withered away in an instant. Tanaeci’s smile disappeared, and she let out a sigh. “Unfortunately, you don’t have much longer to live.”
Yeoman checked his fleshwatch. More than half the time of the main mission had passed; the stage would be ending in less than six months. His days had passed by in a blur. It was like his mind was stuck in a mire. Had four months really gone by so quickly? A frown appeared on Yeoman’s face as he looked at the other missions within the fleshwatch. His party hadn’t progressed beyond rank C. Before they had set off on the kobold extermination mission, Cody had declared the party would be rank B by the fourth month, rank A by the fifth month, and rank S by the sixth month. It was already the start of the seventh month, but the party hadn’t even reached rank B. Did something happen to them?
“Worried?” Tanaeci asked. “Was there anything else you were hoping to accomplish before you died?”
Yeoman entertained the idea of asking Tanaeci to steal a dragon’s egg for him, but he dismissed that thought. The dryads weren’t even willing to offend the elves; they’d probably butcher him for suggesting they offend a dragon. Instead, Yeoman proposed something else. “When I die, I’d like to be submerged in a pond full of dryad soul water. Do you think that’s possible?”
Tanaeci stared at Yeoman with an odd expression on her face. “You haven’t grown up around dryads, and you’re a male, so it’s understandable you don’t know what our soul water is.” She held her hand out. “Come with me. I originally came here to take you to accompany me in planting my fruit. I can show you what soul water is while we’re there.”
Yeoman took Tanaeci’s hand with a grim expression on his face. Judging by Tanaeci’s reaction, soul water couldn’t be obtained that easily. Perhaps the dryads had to sacrifice part of their souls to create it. If that were the case, wouldn’t Yeoman be asking them to kill themselves for him? Since male dryads were like bees and praying mantises, poor fellows who died during or after mating, it wouldn’t be unreasonable for female dryads to be similar to some species of spiders that let their babies eat them upon hatching.
The dryad led Yeoman through a field of vines and trees that looked like they were made from vines. Yeoman hadn’t seen much of the dryad’s home since he had been restrained in one place. After seeing more of it, he realized he wasn’t missing much. It was a primitive place. The dryads lived in shelters similar to the one they had locked Yeoman in. The only difference was there were flowers of all colors, shapes, and sizes planted outside of them. It seemed like flowers were the sole form of decoration the dryads used.
“That’s my house,” Tanaeci said, pointing at a nearby shelter. Other than the familiar structure composed of vines, there were blue sunflower-like plants stationed near the entrance. One of the flowers turned towards Yeoman and waved a large leaf that was hanging off its stem. Yeoman was about to wave back, but Tanaeci tugged on his hand. “Don’t give face-eating plants any attention, or they’ll try to eat you. Honestly, how did you survive for so long without such common knowledge?”
Yeoman blinked hard. “Why do you have such a vicious plant growing outside your home?”
Tanaeci rolled her eyes. “To keep the pests out.”
Yeoman decided to trust the dryad. There was no reason for her to lie about something like that. It was ironic though; one of the most magical things he witnessed since coming to this world was a blue flower. “How would it eat me?”
“It’ll produce a strong, nostalgic aroma for you to sniff,” Tanaeci said and walked ahead, pulling Yeoman along. “You won’t be able to remember what it is you’re smelling, so you’ll try to inhale more of the scent by getting closer to the flower. Once you’re close enough, the petals will close around your head, and it’ll shoot digestive juices at your face until your flesh melts off.”
Yeoman turned his head and took another glance at the blue sunflower-like plant. It was facing away from him, already returned back to its original position. Yeoman’s brow furrowed, and he made a mental note to himself not to approach flowers larger than his head. Perhaps some flowers back on Earth would evolve traits similar to this face-eating plant. Did plants also evolve thanks to the aliens? Yeoman wasn’t sure. He suspected bacteria and viruses didn’t evolve since he hadn’t seen any news of strange illnesses on the front page of the internet, but it could’ve been due to there being not enough time for their victims to show symptoms.
“Over here,” Tanaeci said, coming to a stop in what seemed like a plaza. It was relatively clear of vines compared to the rest of the community. Patches of brown dirt could be seen on the ground, which couldn’t be said for the rest of the area. Tanaeci peeled away the covering leaf on her lower half and reached down. A snapping sound rang out from between her legs, and Tanaeci let out a small grunt. “Whew,” she said and raised her hand. She was holding an orange fruit that looked much like a pear. “That didn’t hurt as much as I expected it to.”
Tanaeci crouched by a patch of brown and scooped away some dirt with her free hand. She dug out a small hole, about the size of a bowling ball, and placed the pear inside. “Grow strong and sturdy, little one,” she said and pushed the dirt back into place, covering the fruit. She closed her eyes and planted one finger into the ground. A moment later, a long vine sprang out of the earth, stretching towards the sky, growing tall enough to reach an adult’s chin.
“That was fast,” Yeoman said. He knew dryads were magical, but he didn’t expect the seed to sprout the instant it was planted into the ground. For goodness’ sake, the seed was still in the fruit. The speed of its growth was too impressive.
“That’s a marker vine, dummy,” Tanaeci said, her eyes flashing open. “It tells everyone else there’s a fruit planted here.”
“Oh.” That made sense. It’d be pretty terrible if a fruit were buried, about to grow, then was suddenly disturbed by a dryad thinking it was a good place to plant a fruit. “I knew that.”
“Yeah, okay,” Tanaeci said and snorted. She waved her hand, gesturing for Yeoman to move back. He complied. The female dryad clutched her belly and hunched over. Yeoman knew what was coming next. He had seen many a drunk person take that position after having too much to drink. There was a retching sound, and a torrent of creamy liquid gushed out of Tanaeci’s mouth right onto the patch of dirt she had planted her fruit in. There were solid blotches mixed in with the liquid. The whole thing reminded Yeoman of curdled milk. There was another heaving sound, and a second waterfall of chunky liquid flowed out of Tanaeci’s open mouth. Once the liquid stopped coming out, Tanaeci straightened her back and wiped her lips with her forearm and wrist. She pointed at the foul-smelling liquid which was frothing and bubbling by her feet. “That’s dryad soul water.” She raised an eyebrow at Yeoman. “Are you sure you want to be buried in it?”
Luckily, Yeoman was a zombie. Foul-smelling things didn’t bother him anymore. In fact, the scent the liquid was giving off smelled … quite appealing. If he bottled it up, he was sure he could sell it to other zombies and advertise it as yogurt. “Yes,” Yeoman said and nodded. “I’m quite certain. When I die, I want to be placed in a deep hole, and I want that hole to be filled to the brim with soul water.” He had thought about it during the time he was here. The best way to accomplish his mission was to have all the dryads pour their soul water directly into the shadow pouch; of course, it was also the most unfeasible way. …Or was it? He had only labeled it as unfeasible because he thought it was akin to walking up to a pregnant woman with an open bag and randomly asking her for her breastmilk, but it seemed like it was just asking her to vomit in the bag instead.
“I guess I could arrange for that,” Tanaeci said with a furrow in her brow. “If it’ll comfort you during your last moments, I’m sure everyone in the community would be willing to contribute—except Pleono.”
Yeoman nodded. Well, it didn’t matter if the best way was feasible or not anymore. The second plan had gotten Tanaeci’s approval. He’d pretend to be dead, let the dryads vomit on him, open the bag, and teleport away once all the liquid was drained. “Thank you.”
Tanaeci nodded. “Is there anything else that’ll make your passing more comfortable?”
Yeoman rubbed his chin. It seemed like his request wasn’t too excessive. The dryad still felt like she wasn’t doing enough. It made Yeoman feel a little guilty. Tanaeci was seriously trying to help him cope during his last moments of life, but in reality, he still had a very long life ahead of himself. He couldn’t bear to take advantage of her any further. “I’m already feeling at peace,” Yeoman said. “You don’t have to worry about me.”
Tanaeci’s nodded, but her expression was still grim. “If there’s anything else that comes up, let me know, okay? My mother told me it’s not uncommon for male dryads to become resentful ghosts after their deaths. I like you a lot, and you’re a great guy, but I don’t want you coming back to haunt me after you’re dead, okay?”
“Uh, yeah,” Yeoman said. It turned out Tanaeci wasn’t doing this out of compassion but rather to prevent Yeoman from becoming a ghost. Well, it was still a good thing the dryads tried to fulfill the wishes of the dying males. “Just remember to cover my corpse with soul water.”
Tanaeci beamed at Yeoman. “Understood. You don’t have that much longer to live, maybe two months at most. What are you planning to do during your final days?”
Yeoman frowned. What was he going to do? Honestly, he didn’t feel like doing anything. Even with his zombie body, he was mentally and physically exhausted. During the past four months, it felt like his life had been sucked out of him. …Hold on. Did male dryads die because of something inherently wrong with their bodies, or did they die because the female dryads drained them of their vitality during intercourse? If it was the former, great, it didn’t affect Yeoman. If it was the latter, then it meant he truly only had two more months to live. If he waited until he actually died, there was no way he was going to get the soul water to Lindyss. There’d be no way for him to turn in the water from the Fountain of Youth to the adventurers’ guild. He had to advance his plans. Now. “Tanaeci.”
“Yes?”
“I feel very weak,” Yeoman said and slumped his shoulders. “How soon do you think it’ll be for the other dryads in the community to produce soul water? I don’t think I have much longer to live.”
Tanaeci pursed her lips. “There’s no way for the latter half of the community to contribute since they took too long to pollinate, but there should be a few more dryads capable of producing it within the week. Two, no, three weeks. Do you think you can survive until then?”
Yeoman nodded. “Three weeks then.” To keep up the image of a dying male dryad, he couldn’t do anything strenuous in that time. In fact, he already had an idea of what to do: sleep and recover.
Tanaeci placed her hand on Yeoman’s arm. “Don’t worry. Even after you die, your legacy will live on in all the offspring you’ve left behind.”
“You’re going to name the male dryads after me?”
Tanaeci sighed. “I’m going to miss your particular brand of cluelessness. Dryads name themselves when they emerge from their trees.”
From the skeletons calling Yeoman an idiot, to the dryads calling him clueless, Yeoman couldn’t help but feel wronged. It was all Virlyce’s fault for skipping over so many details, yet Yeoman was the one suffering. It wasn’t fair.
Tanaeci sighed and grabbed Yeoman’s arm. “Come, you should rest,” she said. “Do your best to preserve your strength, so you can fully experience your perversion before your death.”
As Yeoman thought, the act of asking a dryad for their soul water was a perverted one. It was a good thing he didn’t test the feasibility of the best plan. In three weeks, Yeoman would have a basinful of soul water which he could deliver to Lindyss. Hopefully, nothing would go wrong in that time. His plans didn’t exactly have the best track records.